So continuing on from my last instalment of Tulee Style discussions on adulting, here is part 2. A few more lessons I’ve learnt whilst being/trying to be an adult…
7. I need to write things down
As the years go on, I’m creating more thoughts and memories to add to an already pretty sizeable pile. 32 years worth of memories is a lot, which is possibly why I regularly forget things now (new excuse!) I’m trying to now take note of things I learn, find, see and enjoy. I sometimes use my blogs, social media, voice notes and my notebooks at home to do this because I know that although I won’t sit and read over these things weekly, one day I may scroll down my Twitter or Instagram profile and think “Oh my gosh I remember that! That was great!” or flip through my notebook and think, “that was such an important lesson, I need that again now”. It’s like I’m allowing myself to relive good things and teach myself things again later. I don’t know how you might record things, maybe your memory is a lot better than mine but I think as the years pile up, we need to keep some of the treasures.
8. It’s ok to say “I don’t know”
I don’t know where we got the idea that adults are meant to know everything. I think it’s crazy! I’ve watched serious grown folk make up answers to questions that I knew full well they didn’t know the answer to. Yea, it’s embarrassing sometimes to not have an answer to something that is maybe common knowledge for others, but it’s more embarrassing to make up an answer and be completely wrong. People see all the way through your pretences eventually so it’s better just to admit it. “I don’t know the answer to that. Let me check it and get back to you.” Simples
9. I still have to sweep up mess from my youth.
We all like to believe we’re “over it” and “past it” whatever “it” may be, but I’m finding that our current state is massively affected by what happened in our younger years and we have to be willing to address them in order to move forward well. For me personally, a simple example would be where I’ve found trust to be hard as a result of fall-outs in my younger years. In my present adult state I’ve had to see those old issues for what they were, go back into some of those thoughts, address for myself what went wrong, what I could’ve handled differently, where my view is distorted now, be honest about how it makes me feel today and then move forward with a healthier approach. I think there are much bigger issues we deal with today that still linger and ruin our relationships, our confidence, our self esteem and even our careers because we won’t acknowledge that hurt in our childhood was valid and genuinely needed fixing. We’re adults now but that just makes us grown versions of the same broken children.
10. Pick your battles
Not every argument is worth having, not every issue is worth overlooking. Work out which is which. I’d say the best way to know is to consider what is gained/lost as a result of your chosen response.
11. A good cup of tea fixes most things
I know immediately that some will disagree with this because tea isn’t your thing but whether it’s hot chocolate, ice cream, some exotic fruit, knitting or walking, I think we all need that moment every now and then to pause with that thing we love and enjoy it undisturbed. Hustle and bustle is life, but those moments you can steal away to enjoy a simple pleasure are priceless. Enjoy moments, enjoy scenery, enjoy peace!
12. Love on people while you can
In my weekly adultingness, I plan all the things I need to do but not always time with those I love. I often think about how life will change in years to come, how people I know may not be here anymore whether it be that they move to a different country or pass on to their next life, we won’t be here together forever. For this reason it’s important to make time for those you love. Being an introvert myself, this requires a little more effort on most days but the more I think about it, the more important I see it is. Touch base every now and again, check in to make sure they’re ok, grab a coffee or whathever. We don’t have to be together every day but a little connection every now and then leaves less space for regret later.
14. And a compilation of random thoughts to close
Don’t take yourself too seriously. Mind your own business!! Choose to be happy. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Dance in front of the mirror often. Don’t compare yourself with others. You don’t have to be involved in everything. Do things that inspire you. Money doesn’t grow on trees, so budget well. Be brave! It’s ok to be yourself. Do random things! Be kind. Live in the moment. You are nobody’s superhero! Be angry once then move on. Don’t expect others to think like you. Give generously of your resources. Do things you love… Basically be brilliant!!