Tulee’s Guide to Adulting (Part 2)

So continuing on from my last instalment of Tulee Style discussions on adulting, here is part 2. A few more lessons I’ve learnt whilst being/trying to be an adult…

7. I need to write things down

As the years go on, I’m creating more thoughts and memories to add to an already pretty sizeable pile. 32 years worth of memories is a lot, which is possibly why I regularly forget things now (new excuse!) I’m trying to now take note of things I learn, find, see and enjoy. I sometimes use my blogs, social media, voice notes and my notebooks at home to do this because I know that although I won’t sit and read over these things weekly, one day I may scroll down my Twitter or Instagram profile and think “Oh my gosh I remember that! That was great!” or flip through my notebook and think, “that was such an important lesson, I need that again now”. It’s like I’m allowing myself to relive good things and teach myself things again later. I don’t know how you might record things, maybe your memory is a lot better than mine but I think as the years pile up, we need to keep some of the treasures.

8. It’s ok to say “I don’t know”

I don’t know where we got the idea that adults are meant to know everything. I think it’s crazy! I’ve watched serious grown folk make up answers to questions that I knew full well they didn’t know the answer to. Yea, it’s embarrassing sometimes to not have an answer to something that is maybe common knowledge for others, but it’s more embarrassing to make up an answer and be completely wrong. People see all the way through your pretences eventually so it’s better just to admit it. “I don’t know the answer to that. Let me check it and get back to you.” Simples

9. I still have to sweep up mess from my youth.

We all like to believe we’re “over it” and “past it” whatever “it” may be, but I’m finding that our current state is massively affected by what happened in our younger years and we have to be willing to address them in order to move forward well. For me personally, a simple example would be where I’ve found trust to be hard as a result of fall-outs in my younger years. In my present adult state I’ve had to see those old issues for what they were, go back into some of those thoughts, address for myself what went wrong, what I could’ve handled differently, where my view is distorted now, be honest about how it makes me feel today and then move forward with a healthier approach. I think there are much bigger issues we deal with today that still linger and ruin our relationships, our confidence, our self esteem and even our careers because we won’t acknowledge that hurt in our childhood was valid and genuinely needed fixing. We’re adults now but that just makes us grown versions of the same broken children.

10. Pick your battles

Not every argument is worth having, not every issue is worth overlooking. Work out which is which. I’d say the best way to know is to consider what is gained/lost as a result of your chosen response.